the kid that sits behind me in geometry is a really good artist and once I turned around and he was spending an extensive amount of time shading in the collarbones of the guy he was drawing, so I whispered
“careful John, your gay is showing”
and he just winked
So, apparently John has a tumblr and if he sees this I will track all of you down and rip your beating hearts from your chest one by one
u wake up on christmas morning and go downstairs, full of excitement. somebody is stealing all of your christmas presents. it is jesus. “its my birthday, not yours” he hisses menacingly, then runs away with all your gifts in his arms
My roommate and I are really sick and we look like shit, but we were hungry so we ordered pizza. But we didn’t want anyone to see us, so we asked them over the phone if we can leave the money on the door and they can just drop off the pizza.
The guy said sure.
So we decided to leave a nice little note
and we hung it above the door bell. I hope they like it!